This Sunday will be my husband’s sixth Father’s Day and there is nothing I can buy or craft or do that will thank him enough for all his support over the past six years. Perhaps that is why I find Father’s Day a little bit stressful. I mean, a mug just doesn’t seem to cut it?! I could not have managed my first year as a new mum without my husband by my side. During the birth of my first son I vividly remember holding his hand throughout the entire labour (he claims he made a cheese toastie at one point but I have no recollection of this!) and that offered me so much strength and support. After the baby was here, during those sleepless nights when I doubted myself and questioned everything, he just quietly listened and offered cups of tea or a warm shower. He took the baby for walks when I didn’t know it was silence that I needed. He saw me at my lowest ebb; tired, unshowered, often angry, purely focused on our new child. Still he supported me and loved us in a million ways. He made me lunch in the morning before he went to work because he knew I might not manage to eat otherwise. There was sometimes conflict and uncertainty and worry but there was also so much love.
Becoming a parent is a profound experience, one that transforms you in unimaginable ways and this is true for both new mums and dads. Pregnancy and birth can be hard for fathers-to-be; there is often little or no focus on how they are doing emotionally and our systems often focus on mothers without too much thought to new dads. During our antenatal classes and active birth workshops, we really do want to focus on fathers and birth partners. Their role is so important! So happy Father’s Day to all of you wonderful fathers and a big shout out to all those who have just welcomed a new baby into the world. Let's take a moment to celebrate the incredible journey of fatherhood, and to appreciate the unique and vital role fathers play.
The New Normal: Embracing Change
Having a baby ushers in a new normal, where sleepless nights and nappy changes become the norm. But within these daily tasks lies a profound connection. It might take you some time to work out your role and rhythm. That's ok. Perhaps you could take on the night time changes or take the baby for a walk when you are finished with work. Each nappy change, every late-night feeding, and all the soothing lullabies sung in the quiet hours are acts of love that gives you time to bond with your baby.
Learning and Growing Together
Fatherhood is a journey of learning and growth, not just for your baby, but for you as well. I know so many dads-to-be who come to our antenatal classes worried about how to change a nappy or wind a baby but you will become a pro at those things in no time. As well as so many other things. You learn the art of patience, the power of presence, and the significance of small gestures. You will discover the depths of your own strength and compassion as you protect and nurture your new family.
The Supporter
While the early days often centre around the mother and baby, the role of a father is equally crucial. You are the rock, the steady presence that provides stability and support. Whether it's taking over baby duties to give mum a much-needed break, or simply being there to listen and offer encouragement, your support makes a world of difference. Your job isn’t necessarily to fix things or make a situation better, sometimes it is just listening or holding a hand. Your support means everything.
The Everyday Hero
Fathers are everyday heroes, not because of grand gestures, but because of the consistent, unwavering love and dedication they show. From assembling baby furniture and baby-proofing the house to reading bedtime stories and sharing in the delight of first words and first steps, you are a hero in your child's eyes. Celebrate these everyday victories!
Looking Ahead
As you embark on this incredible journey, remember that fatherhood is not about perfection, but about presence. It's about being there, day in and day out, showing up with love, patience, and an open heart. Remember too, that if you are struggling or needing support then it is so important you open up and speak with someone. You can’t support your family if you are struggling with low mood or anxiety. Your mental health matters. Becoming a father is hard but the future is filled with countless moments of joy, learning, and growth. Cherish the milestones, big and small, and know you are doing an amazing job.
A Tribute to New Dads
To all the new fathers out there, we celebrate you. We honour your commitment, your love, and your dedication. You are embarking on one of life's greatest adventures, and though the road may be challenging, it is also incredibly rewarding. Your presence, your love, and your unwavering support make all the difference in your child's life. Welcome to fatherhood!
If you are expecting a baby and would like to learn a little more about our antenatal classes then why not get in touch. We would love to hear from you!
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