Grow+Gather's Top Tips for a Positive Birth

Over the past ten years as a midwife, I have noticed more and more conversations about having a ‘positive birth’. We talk about this a lot in our antenatal classes and active birth workshops because I think that the term positive has become synonymous with ‘perfect’ and that worries me. A positive birth isn’t defined by specific outcomes, like a vaginal birth or avoiding pain relief. Instead, it’s about how you feel about your experience. You come away from the experience with a sense of pride and peace, knowing that you made the best decisions that you could have, in the circumstances that you had on the day. I love our conversations in our classes about what a positive birth means. It can be quite a personal thing for people but overall, I think there are five factors that can make your birth a positive one. These are things that we come back to time and again in our classes; the practicalities of a positive birth, your birth partners' role during labour and what health professionals can do to help. Come and join us for our next blog post where will continue the theme of positive birth and ask, why does it matter? 

So, let’s explore Grow+Gather’s five top tips for a positive birth.

1. Get Informed

Knowledge is power. Understanding how birth works, what your options are, and what to expect can help reduce fear and increase your confidence.

• Attend antenatal classes! I don’t want to brag but I know some local midwives who run some pretty good classes…

  
  

• Read positive birth stories — not just the textbook ones, but real, varied experiences.

  
  

• Learn about different types of birth: spontaneous labour, induction, caesarean, home birth, and hospital birth.

  
  

But remember, you don’t need to be a mini midwife by the time you go into labour. Your body and your baby know how to birth. Knowledge can be power, but too much information or unhelpful social media can be overwhelming and anxiety provoking too. Balance is key.

2. Know Your Options

Whether it’s about pain relief, birth positions, or who cuts the cord, knowing your choices helps you feel more in control.

• Write birth preferences. This helps everyone around you to be on the same page but remember, it’s a flexible guide.

  
  

• Talk through your preferences with your birth partner and those looking after you.

  
  

• Ask questions, remember to use the BRAIN acronym when an intervention is being offered (Benefits/Risks/Alternatives/Instinct/Nothing). 

3. Choose Supportive People

Surround yourself with people who support your choices and help you feel safe. The people around you on the day can make such a difference; promoting oxytocin and a sense of calm or fainting in a heap on the flow!

• A supportive partner can really ensure you feel completely relaxed, promoting oxytocin and allowing you to instinctively birth your baby in the way that feels right.

  
  

• Part of the joy of being a midwife is working alongside some of the most wonderful, caring and wonderful folk imaginable. Remembers that midwives and doctors are on your side. They want you to have a positive birth too. 

  
  

• Feeling safe allows your body to labour more effectively as feelings of safety allow your body to produce oxytocin and inhibits adrenaline. This promotes good, strong, regular contractions which will help with the progress of labour 

4. Prepare Emotionally, Not Just Logistically

Labour isn’t just physical — it’s deeply emotional and mental too. Spend time tuning into how you feel about birth.

• Practice breathing techniques, visualisation techniques, or mindfulness. Our active birth workshop, Bend and Breathe, is an amazing opportunity to learn about breathing techniques from a midwife trained in hypnobirthing!

  
  

• Explore any fears or past experiences that might come up for you. We talk about this in our workshop too, it’s so important to unpick fears and worries and to preempt some of these concerns before the big day.

  
  

• Talk with your midwife about any big concerns you have, they should be able to discuss options with you and find out more information about your individual situation if needed.

5. Stay Flexible

No one can predict exactly how your birth will unfold. Being flexible allows you to adapt while still feeling empowered. I always tell women that whilst they can prepare in every way possible, your baby is also part of the birthing team too and sometimes babies do things in labour that you may not expect or can’t anticipate. 

• Your preferences matter, even if your birth journey takes an unexpected turn.

  
  

• You can still feel in control and cared for, even if your birth ends in a different way to what you expected.

  
  

• Interventions can be life saving for your or baby. Never feel like you failed or that you should have done more. You made the best decision for you and your baby on the day. That is what matters. 

  
  

  

  
  

Remember; there is no 'right' way to give birth

A positive birth can look like a calm water birth at home, an epidural-assisted induction, or an unplanned caesarean with your favourite support person by your side. It's not about perfection — it’s about feeling heard, respected, and supported. That’s what really matters.

You deserve to enter parenthood feeling strong and empowered. With preparation, support, and a little bit of flexibility, you can have a positive birth — no matter what path your labour takes.

And if you're currently preparing for your birth and have questions, hopes, or even fears — you're not alone. Hailey and I have been midwives for years. We know how anxious you might be feeling or some of the questions you might have. Why not come and join us for one of our antenatal weekends where we talk through options and can answer your questions. It's also a chance to connect with others.  The more supported you feel now, the more confident you'll feel when the big day comes. Come and join us!

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