At the beginning of the year Grow+Gather launched the No Sleep Club. We wanted to offer a space for new parents where we could get together, eat cake and chat about life with a new baby. Like our antenatal classes and first aid sessions, The No Sleep Club is relaxed, friendly and welcoming. An opportunity to ask questions, speak to a midwife or just have a moan or rant about anything that might be bothering you! Navigating new parenthood can be overwhelming sometimes and it feels so good to come together and just be. Supporting, listening and having a good laugh too. Needless to say, The No Sleep Club has done well at living up to its name and we have had a lot of discussions about baby sleep! So in this episode of Grow and Gather meets, we are delighted to say hello to Jade who runs Beyond the Stars and is a certified infant sleep coach.
Hello Jade and welcome! We would love to hear a little more about you and your journey to become a sleep coach!
Hi - I'm Jade and I am a mum of two incredible kids who are now 7 and 3 years old. Outside of mum life I am a qualified specialist in Infant and Child Sleep. I truly adore what I do - transforming families so the whole family are feeling happy and well rested. When my son was born, I felt so lost in the world of parenting - let alone the minefield that was baby sleep! I read all the baby sleep books and just found a fascination in the psychology of sleep. We found our way, he was really time sensitive, so it was also in finding what worked for him. The toddler years were a big challenge for us, he was so easily stimulated but thrived on connection, so it was about finding a settle rhythm that worked for him. That took a while to navigate on my own!
When my daughter graced us, I thought I knew a thing or two when it came to sleep by this point... however with her severe reflux and completely different sleep needs I was left in the spiral of sleep deprivation and no way out. Even when I dusted off the books, I just couldn't find my way to help her sleep. But of course, they didn't work the same - my two kids were so different!! Different personalities, different sleep needs - it made sense from then that no child is the same when it came to sleep. So when my husband suggested we seek a professional to help us with her sleep - I decided I wanted to be that professional. I wanted to make sure no family ever felt unsupported in sleep - it is one of the toughest parts of parenthood and there was no sleep support accessible. And I wanted to change that - so I did! I went on to do extensive study and qualifications and then set up business to support and transform other families!
This is so interesting and so needed. My first baby didn't sleep well at all so I share your pain in that. Can you tell us more about how you support families?
I really do stand by my belief in that there isn't a one-size-fits-all approach to sleep! All children are so different in their personalities and temperaments, as is every family dynamic different. What I focus on is working with their unique personalities to ensure a responsive solution that works with them, not against them. It is also important to me to work in a way that aligns with that family - which is also the key to getting it right! Also, every family has different values and different dynamics. For example, I could be supporting 5 x 9 month old and they will all be on different sleep plans! One could be moving into their own room, once may even be moving into their siblings room and one could be co-sleeping with parents as part of their wishes. I take all of this when I work 1-1 with families to create their own bespoke plan to that family and little one!
I work holistically when it comes to sleep, and all aspects of it. I focus on the middle ground where we can take gentle and responsive ways to help them feel contented in sleep as well as promoting independence gradually. Outside 1-1 support, I also have a Sleep Support Membership Program and additional online resources!
Brilliant! Do you have any top sleep tips for us over at the No Sleep Club!?
1. Look at the day sleep and sleep pressure – are the naps long enough? Or maybe bedtime is coming too close to the last nap? Evaluating this can be key, and keeping a sleep diary can be a great tool to help find your child’s own sweet spot and what works!
2. Evaluate the sleep props – is bub waking somewhere different from where they fall asleep? After 4 months they are able to recognise this and could be the reason for a disconnect in sleep cycles!
3. Consistent rhythms – babies often get more frustrated when we try anything and everything to get the sleep in! When a rhythm is set and they know what happens every single time, their contentedness will increase and the settle will become easier!
And what are the most common problems you can help new parents with?
With the majority of families I work with, there is often a cycle of over-tiredness. This is where there are stretches of wake times that are too long, contributing to the frequent night awakenings. And then this makes the cycle repeat in the day! The other most common challenges are with sleep associations and little ones feeling unable to link those sleep cycles back together. This is where there is something strong that the little one relies on to fall asleep every time. And when they wake, they are upset without the thing that helped them get to sleep in the first place e.g. rocking, feeding etc. So this is something we work through together in how to gently wean away from the bigger associations, so that little one knits the sleep back together and the stretches increase - and it means they don't have that upset when they wake and they realise they are without it.
Sleep regressions can be so tough. And there seems to be so many of them! Do you have a lot of families coming to you about these too?
Absolutely! We can't avoid some phases - such as development leaps, teething, illness, change in routine/holidays etc. But once I support you to that place of contented sleep you know how to get back to it once they pass! I always support parents through these times, sleep is never linear and things can change often. For example, a sibling comes along and the toddler sleep changes. I have just launched my “Exhausted to Thriving” membership which is perfect for parents and getting consistent support through these challenging times too and guide you back to where you want to be!
Thank you so much Jade. Do you have any final thoughts?
Do not compare your child to anyone else's! All children are so different, and the ones who have painted a picture of their child being the perfect sleeper often won't tell you when it gets tough! Children, like adults, have different challenges. If you are struggling with your little ones sleep - it is not a reflection on you or them! We are all responding to our babies and figuring out this rollercoaster journey of sleep. It can be so debilitating to compare to others who have great sleepers - but focus on you and your little one and their needs. And - we aren't designed to know it all in parenting or sleep! It is absolutely OK to ask for support!
Ok so where can we find you!?
You can find out all about me here as well as my services at https://www.beyondthestars.co.uk
And for my free sleep guide and access to my support community you can get this
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