Myth Busters - The First 15 Days
- Hannah Webster
- 2 days ago
- 5 min read
It has been a busy few weeks for us as midwives, mothers and antenatal teachers. There has been a lot going on! Moving house, school starting, midwifery shifts. As well as everything else that has been going on behind the scenes, we have been loving meeting you all. We had a lovely, intimate July class and then a busy and laughter-filled August weekend. Both classes are soon to be attending first aid sessions together and it has been lovely watching the start of friendships and relationships form. As ever, we spent a great deal of time talking about the early days with baby and what to expect. This is a conversation I love and find difficult in equal measure. Every baby is so different and the postnatal period can look so different for everyone.
At our No Sleep Club last month there was a lot of chat about sleep, feeding and adjusting to a new normal. We spoke about matrescence, a period of transition like adolescence, where we encounter big changes both physically and emotionally. I have also been visiting lots of families at home for routine midwifery visits and feel as though I am having the same conversations with families time again with many first time parents having the same worries and concerns. So I thought it would be helpful to unpick some of the things that I am hearing over and over, whether in antenatal classes or postnatal visits. I hope you find it useful.
My baby should be sleeping in the cot/baby box/bassinet
NOPE! You are going to drive yourselves crazy with this. Babies want to be on, near and close to you at all times. This is physiologically normal. Very few babies settle when put down in a cold cot away from where they can hear and smell you. This isn't anything you are doing wrong, it's how babies are made. How they can ensure you are watching them and keeping them warm and becoming aware of their cues. Just because this is normal does not mean it's easy though. It's so, so full on. And frustrating and tiring. Side feeding in bed might afford you some rest (remember this needs to be done safely so look at the lullaby trust for more info) or using a sling could mean a hot cup of tea. Remember, ask for help. This season will pass.
My baby is feeding too much/I don't have enough milk
NOPE! This is a big one for me. People ask me this all the time. Why are the feeding all the time? My baby never seems satisfied? And I get it. I get it as a mum whose baby was never satisfied. Not just your community midwife. It makes you doubt yourself so much. Remember, babies have to 'switch on' the feeding receptors in your body. Your body does not know how much milk to make until your baby (or a breast pump) tells it! Cluster feeding is enivitable. You have enough milk. Also, please remember that every woman's breast capacity is different (it's not size related!) so some women will have larger volumes at each feed (so baby may feed less often) but overall it's a similar amount. Comparison is the thief of joy. Don't worry about your pals baby. Trust yourself.
Skin to skin is only for the first few hours
NOPE! In our antenatal classes this weekend we chatted about the benefits of skin-to-skin and honestly, it is an incredible thing. But why oh why, when we come to visit you at home in the first week are the baby's clothes on!? Skin-to-skin isn't just important in the first hour (and sometimes stuff happens that makes it impossible in the first hour!) so strip that baby off and put them straight onto your chest. An instant soother for baby, means you get to sit down and fab for milk production too. Win. Win. See more about skin to skin here.
I shouldn't take anything stronger than paracetamol
NO! This one might tip me over the edge. You have just had major abdominal surgery and you are taking one gram of paracetamol every six hours?! I say this with all the love...it's not going to cut the mustard! You may manage after the first couple of weeks but in the first week, take the analgesia. If it has been prescribed and you are in pain, use it!
My baby has colic
Oh my. This one troubles me. Because in truth, your baby might have colic. Remember, colic is a set of symptoms. It doesn't necessarily diagnose anything. It just means your baby has long bouts of crying that are persistent and intense for an extended period of time each day, for several days and it goes on for weeks. Now, as a mother of colicky baby I want to hold your hand and give you a hug. Colic stinks. But colic is not an afternoon of crying or a couple of unsettled nights. All babies have these. Colic is straight up awful. If you think that your baby has colic you need to speak to someone, you need to protect your mental health and you need to reach out for help.
I am too embarressed to show you my stitches
I understand. But honestly, midwives would much, much rather make sure everything was healing and you were comfortable than to be told "it's all fine" even if you aren't actually sure it is. This is our job. The perinuem normally heals really well but obviously, just because of location, it's at a higher risk of infection. We would much prefer to spot something early on that leave it just because you felt embarressed!
My baby should be in a routine after the first few weeks
Yikes. I am sorry to be the one to tell you this but....routines don't fall into place for some time. You will soon be obsessing over wake windows and weaning and nap times but in these early, lovely, moments, just forget about a routine. You may get lucky and your baby falls into a natural flow, or like me, you might have a baby that has no discernable rhythm. Whether you try and find one is up to you. I think it's helpful to start to learn and respond to your babies cues but I just want to reassure you that you might not always get it right. And even if you are right ("they looks so tired"), your baby may not agree!
I will bond with my baby instantly
Birth is an unbelievable process. In whatever form it takes. Your body has gone through an amazingthing. Sometimes during pregnancy we may feel quite removed from the actual 'being at home with baby' side of things because the physical symptoms of pregnancy are so full on. And often we can just be so exhausted after delivering a baby that it takes time to process the fact that a whole new human has arrived. It is absolutely, completely normal to need to take a while to get to know and connect with your baby. Be kind to yourself.
The first few days with a newborn are full on. As you recover and get to know this new baby and work out your role in this amazing job that is parenthood. I am sure there are lots of other thoughts that people have about the first couple of weeks. I would love to hear them. If you would like to hear a little more about our classes and what we offer, we would love to hear from you. Why not get in touch?
@growandgatherbirth
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